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Happiness Salad & Misery Mojito

Thursday, 16th of June 2022

Honesty is the main ingredient in my happiness salad because the need to be dishonest arises when you attempt to display a false identity. In other words it arises when you create a fake identity which is not yourself but what you want others to notice in you in order to be recognised and accepted. This unrealistic identity has a very short life span, as there will come a day that you will be required to take off your acting costume and play the real character in real life. When I first sought my wife’s consent for a love affair, I was afraid that she might not even talk to me if she found out about my history.

Yet, on the other hand, I realised that there was no point in lying to her and exposing a fake character as its date of expiry will be sooner than later. Also, I realised that if she rejected me for who I really am, that would be alright with me as I could understand that it is not true love. So, with butterflies in my stomach, I shared my entire chaotic and messy life story with her. Most surprisingly after listening to me carefully, she said that she loves me a lot and that she would like to marry me and make my life beautiful.

Owing to being honest in my approach, today my marriage is so peaceful. I do not have to put on a false attire each and every day, I can just be myself as she decided to love me and not a false identity that is not myself. Honesty is the most important ingredient that you must possess if you want to be happy. Being dishonest is similar to consuming a high amount of MSG, a cacogenic ingredient on a daily basis. Furthermore, do not let your past regrets paralyse your present. We all have made blunders in the past and regretting would only steal away the opportunity you possess to commit yourself to the maximum at the present moment where you can harvest in the coming future.

Regretting about the crop you lost in the past due to your foolishness will only bestow upon you another harvestless future. If you do not treat your ‘regrets’ appropriately, they may become like corrosion that grows until the surface becomes unproductive. There are no successful people who have never made any errors in the past; they have rather been courageous personalities who have corrected themselves and bounced back stronger than ever before. Regretting is like trying to enjoy a cup of delicious tea with a piece of bitter gourd instead of a piece of tasty Kithul Jaggery.

Also, do not let worry hijack your future, as worrying excessively about the future is sure to steal your ability of doing your very best at the present moment of time. Planning ahead is certainly important yet worrying about the future unnecessarily will steal your energy and de-energise your mind. The moment your mind becomes weak, your thinking becomes indistinct. Imagine how your physical body would become weak if you do not have food for a few days. Similarly, worry drains your mind by the clogging that is created by fear and worry.

You never know what the future holds for you, hence do your best at the present moment and make sure that you fulfill all the responsibilities you ought to accomplish. Enjoy every moment to the maximum, work hard, love your spouse unconditionally and add beauty to their lives, spend more time with your children, love your parents and influence the society as much as you could. Then, you will receive happiness abundantly every moment of the time. When yesterday is gone and tomorrow is not assured, the best thing you could do is to do your very best at the present moment and live to the fullest at this very moment.

You must also possess a spirit of contentment which I consider as another powerful Ingredient in defining happiness. A girl who is happily driving her small car can suddenly get disturbed and upset to see her neighbour driving a big new car. Happiness should be based on what you had in the past and what you have in the present and not on what you or your friends have now. Comparison is a joy killer whilst self comparison is a super teacher. The moment you think you are perfect is the moment your destruction begins, it will take place rapidly as you are blind to correction.

Therefore, make sure you are always open for rectification. Close the gates of your mind the moment thoughts of comparison with others try to approach you. Take mastership over your thoughts before they take control of your mind. Love Unconditionally without expecting anything in return. If you are expecting anything in return then it surely is not true love. It is just like a transactional relationship where you feed your dog merely for the purpose of getting it to watch your house. There is nothing wrong in transactions, the only thing is that you cannot call it love, if it is a transaction.

When it comes to love, it must own a spirit of gratefulness. It should be out of pure love towards someone or something, with no expectation of anything in return. The more you expect the more disappointed you will be, people are prone to disappoint you, even the very closest. Another important aspect that needs practice is to forgive those who hurt you, as you have also hurt many including your beloved parents who have forgiven you. How many times have we hurt another ? Unforgiving fertilises bitterness, and bitterness steals away your joy.

Bitterness also has the ability to fuel ego, another major joy killer or it can even be called the biggest joy killer according to my realisation. Do not wait until tomorrow to ask for pardon or to say you love someone as tomorrow may never come. Love is a comforting healer but bitterness is poisonous and it can contaminate your mind. Your mind is your thought provoking well. If the well is contaminated then the water that we receive from it will also be contaminated. If the well is pure then we will receive pure water from it. Therefore, safeguard your mind from bitterness and anger.

Purify it with unconditional love. Finally, do not dump garbage into your five senses. Be mindful for a minute and evaluate what you feed your five senses, many feed them garbage that destroys their peace of mind and happiness. What do your eyes watch on the internet or television? Do they enhance the quality of life and motivate you or are they anger provoking, value degrading useless or valueless things? Do you expose your ears to gossip, bad wrapping, discrimination, hate speech and judgemental statements? Is your tongue exposed to healthy food and substances or life destroying junk and substances? Are your hands clean or are they stained with grime? One of the main reasons people are not happy is because they submit joy killers in to themselves.

You cannot expect high quality coconut oil by processing spoiled, poor quality, fungi attacked copra. Likewise, if you feed garbage to your five senses, do not be surprised by its outcome of pain, anger, tears and jealousy, as all of them possess joy killing outputs. If you do not pay attention to the input, do not be mad to witness a miserable outcome. To be frank there is hardly anything to watch on TV. Also, if you listen to the radio channels, there is nothing that contributes to the development of a powerful generation that is rich in values and positive attitudes. Crap is everywhere in the air. Therefore, make your salad a Happiness Salad and avoid the Misery Mojito so that you can live in peace and harmony.

For comments: philipnehri@chandanalepa.lk / voice: 0779 526 496

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